Sunday, February 7, 2010

you're only a day away

Sixty. Soixante. Sesenta. Fifty + ten. Thirty + thirty.

Sixty days is all I have left in Sackville... forever. I happily updated my Facebook status displaying the countdown. I stared at it. The longer I stared at it, the faster the happiness started to diminish and be replaced with sadness... anxiety... fear.

As excited as I am to pack up all of my belongings and start the next chapter of my life, I'm sad to leave behind the school that shaped me into the independent artist and individual that I am. I'm sad to say goodbye to the friends I've made here whom I've shared classes and memories with over the past four years. I'm sad to step outside the comfort zone I've built up... and fearful of what's to come.

I'm thinking back to the beginning of this chapter of my life that began when I graduated high school. I was anxious and scared to move away... and I'm experiencing those same sort of intense feelings now. Mostly because I still have no idea what I want to do next year... or what I want to do with my life for that matter. I wish it was all laid out for me, but I suppose it would be quite boring if you knew what cards were dealt to you in the hand of life.

So, I have sixty days to make memories that will last me a life time. I have sixty days to figure out exactly what my options are for next year and what route I'd like to go. I have sixty days to figure out how exactly I'm going to pay off the copious amount of debt that has been built up over the past four years. I have sixty days to figure out how I'm going to pay for further education. I have sixty days to soak up as much of Sackville as I can. I have sixty days to create an astounding body of artwork that will hopefully set a name for myself.

But for now, all I can really do is take it one day at a time. That's really what life is all about... taking it one day at a time and living for the moment. How terribly sad life would be if all it consisted of was countdowns. It's like being a kid and as soon as school's out for the summer, you start counting down to the last week in August when you go away to your favourite camp. The whole summer is consisted of anxiously tearing off the days of the calendar, making your way closer to the day where you pack your bags for camp. Before you know it, camp has come and gone, summer is over and you're back to school again. You don't know where the summer went.

You don't want your life to be full of countdowns and not living for the moment because before you know it, you're ninety years old and wondering what happened to all the days of your life.

So, let's rewind back to the first number we were ever introduced to... and let's start there.

One. Un. Uno.

One day until tomorrow. Let's live out that one the best way that we can.

1 comment:

手錶 said...