Sunday, May 31, 2009

A novel.

I want to write a novel.

I was reading through entries upon entries in an online diary I've been keeping since I was sixteen and I was inevitably getting soaked up into my own writing.  My two best friends sat on the bed beside me, while I sat at the computer reading them selected memories I'd recorded through my life.  They sat, enthralled.  I looked at them, "Are you sure you're not bored?"  They giggled like schoolgirls and chimed, "No" almost too effortlessly.

"Beth, you HAVE to write a novel," Jess told me.  Another friend, Meg, told me once, "You write in such a way women can relate to."

I can't really explain it so you'll understand, buts sometimes I get snapped into a writing zone where various words are jumbled in my head.  A scene is created;  An emotion merges and I have to open up my laptop and write exactly what's in my head before I lose this sudden surge.  It happens a lot.  It's been happening since I was sixteen.  I write after this sudden surge and I feel a strong sense of satisfaction when rereading the paragraph what I wrote.

I need to write a novel.  I'm going to write a novel.  I've already started.  I've started since I was sixteen... writing down random scenes filled with character and emotion whenever it'd come to me.  I told my brother-in-law that I wanted to write a novel.  He looked at me and said, "Write what you know."  What do I know?  Boys.  Love.  Heartache.  Independence.  It's what most girls write in their journals or diaries and I have hundreds of entries upon entries to use as motivation and my foundation.

I am, now, in novel-mode.


I fly to San Francisco tomorrow.  I've never been so excited for myself.  Like my future novel, this is something I need to do for myself.  This is something I need to experience by myself, which is why I'm going alone.  Like writing a good paragraph and feeling a strong sense of satisfaction, I need to breathe air with a hunger for adventure and a happiness for life.  I need to go to California and come back feeling that strong sense of satisfaction.

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