I was reading through entries upon entries in an online diary I've been keeping since I was sixteen and I was inevitably getting soaked up into my own writing. My two best friends sat on the bed beside me, while I sat at the computer reading them selected memories I'd recorded through my life. They sat, enthralled. I looked at them, "Are you sure you're not bored?" They giggled like schoolgirls and chimed, "No" almost too effortlessly.
"Beth, you HAVE to write a novel," Jess told me. Another friend, Meg, told me once, "You write in such a way women can relate to."
I can't really explain it so you'll understand, buts sometimes I get snapped into a writing zone where various words are jumbled in my head. A scene is created; An emotion merges and I have to open up my laptop and write exactly what's in my head before I lose this sudden surge. It happens a lot. It's been happening since I was sixteen. I write after this sudden surge and I feel a strong sense of satisfaction when rereading the paragraph what I wrote.
I need to write a novel. I'm going to write a novel. I've already started. I've started since I was sixteen... writing down random scenes filled with character and emotion whenever it'd come to me. I told my brother-in-law that I wanted to write a novel. He looked at me and said, "Write what you know." What do I know? Boys. Love. Heartache. Independence. It's what most girls write in their journals or diaries and I have hundreds of entries upon entries to use as motivation and my foundation.
I am, now, in novel-mode.
***
I fly to San Francisco tomorrow. I've never been so excited for myself. Like my future novel, this is something I need to do for myself. This is something I need to experience by myself, which is why I'm going alone. Like writing a good paragraph and feeling a strong sense of satisfaction, I need to breathe air with a hunger for adventure and a happiness for life. I need to go to California and come back feeling that strong sense of satisfaction.
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