once upon a time

I'm laying on the floor with my sister.  We're on our bellies, pencil crayons in our hands... colouring the pages of my Beauty and the Beast colouring book.  She's watching Matlock.  I hate this show, but I don't care because I'm spending time with my sister. I'm watching her colour the page, envious of her ability to stay inside the lines.  I try to copy her artistic approach.  

It's a Monday night.  My parents are at a meeting; so, my sister is watching me.  After we colour, she does my hair, paints my nails and puts makeup on me.  It's not actually makeup.  She has one of my storybooks on her lap and she uses her makeup brushes to "dip" into the colours displayed on the cover and then pretends to splash the paint onto my face.  I love the way the soft bristles dance against my face and I laugh as she tickles me with the brush.

My parents come home.  I'm anxious at this point because they promised to bring me home a surprise.  They always brought me home a surprise.  It's a surprise, but at the same time I know exactly what it is.  They burst through the door and I run up and hug them.  They hand me a brown paper bag.  I open it up and smile.  Cream Soda and Sour Cream and Onion chips.  The usual.  I love it.  It was such a treat.

***

I had an unbelievably rough day.  Murphy's law was definitely slapping me in the face today with the "everything that can go wrong, will" theory.  After class, I stopped by the store on the way home and bought Cream Soda and SC&O chips.  I don't think I've tasted either since before I was ten years old.  Nostalgia is bouncing against my lips.  All my favourite memories are coming back to me now, swamping out the bad day I just had.  

I think we all get overwhelmed every once in awhile, and sometimes not even venting to people will help.  No matter what, they never say exactly what you want them to say.  I think that we can only strive for relief within our selves. We can achieve this by resorting back to a moment in our lives when we were happiest... and reliving those memories, grasping onto those once-felt feelings.  If you grasp hard enough, you can pull them out into your current situation.  And eventually, those feelings you've grasped from your memories will dilute the stress that's trying so hard to weigh you down.

'Cause everyone's your friend in NYC

I signed up for my critique today.  It's at 2:40pm in the crit room in the Fine Arts building on November 2nd.  So, if you want to show up - feel free!

You may be asking what exactly a crit is.  Well, it's a term very familiar to the Fine Arts world.  It's a pretty big deal come fourth year.  In our first three years, we often "critique" eachothers' works to get us comfortable with offering feedback and talking about our own work.

So, each fourth year student signs up for a time slot.  Fine Arts classes are canceled because the faculty attends these critiques.  In the crit room, I will be exhibiting work that I've been working on independently so far.  People, students and staff, will be invited to look around at the artwork and then be seated.  I'll talk about my purpose and methods.  Questions will be asked.  That sort of thing.  If you find yourself bored at 2:40pm on November 2nd, please show up and take a gander at what I've been working on this year!  It's only an "in progress" crit so none of my work is actually complete.  But you'll get a good feel of where I'm going with it all.  I'd love some extra eyes to view and feel free to offer me your feedback.  I'd certainly appreciate how you feel about it!

It's going to be a busy week with preparing for the 2nd.  Here are the events I have to look forward to/stress over:

October 29th

Leave Sackville

Bus to Halifax

Flight to Newfoundland

October 29th-31st

Halloween festivities spent in St. John's

November 1st

Fly back to Halifax

Bus to Sackville

November 2nd

Critique

November 3rd

Bus to Cape Breton

November 4th

David Copperfield

November 7th

4TH YEAR FINE ARTS NEW YORK CITY TRIP !!!!! 

This trip is "mandatory" to graduate, however, we have to pay for it ourselves.  I'm not complaining about it.  I'm actually really excited;  It'd be much more expensive under any other circumstances like if I decided to go on my own.  I'm... just... broke.  I'm not quite excited about my lack of money.

Ahhhhh.... you can see I have a lot on my plate for the next few weeks.  I have to have everything ready for my critique before I go away to Newfoundland and I'm going to be pretty much nonstop until I get back from NYC.  

I'm so much closer to graduating and I absolutely cannot wait!  I've been thinking a lot about possible options for next year.  I'm almost certain I'm going to be moving to Halifax in May.  I'm more likely to find a summer job there than at home in the Cape.  I'm going to apply to NSCAD.  There are some graduate programs there that I was looking into.  I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my degree and how exactly deep I want to dig into the fine arts world... but I'm going to use next year to find out.  Eventually, I think I want to get my bED to fall back on.  That way, I'll be able to teach if I wanted to.  But I'm definitely going to strive for something much bigger...

Inside my studio

As you may or may not know, I've been writing in diaries and journals since I was eight years old.  It is something I've always loved doing and I've always been passionate about writing.  It's very personal to me; So, I wanted to bring this into my artwork.  I'm making several bodies of work all around the same theme: my diaries.

I've written in my diaries about many different people - some who have impacted my life in a tremendous way.  These people have shaped me into the person I am today; I wouldn't be who I am without the memories I've made with these people and the influence that they've had on me.  

So, I'm doing big watercolour portraits of these people and the title of the work will be a date of a diary entry in which I wrote about them, as well as a line from the specific diary.  The title will become just as significant and meaningful as the artwork itself.  My initial idea was to have my numerous diaries and journals displayed to invite people to flip to the date that's the title of a portrait and read the full entry.  I'm still playing around with ideas and what exactly I want to do.  I've been making color photocopies of my diary entries... I figured I could do something with them.  Perhaps I can make a sculptural book out of them.

Also, I have a bunch of 1ft x 1ft canvases; So, I've been scanning and printing out diary entries onto iron-on transfer paper and ironing them onto material.  I plan on stitching them to the canvases and painting/collage-ing  around them.  That's basically my idea for my fourth year project for this semester.  It's very personal but, to me, that's what artwork is about.

Below are pictures I took of my studio!  Sneak a peek at what I've been working on and where I work at.

Put down the cookie

Ok, so it's Sunday night and you're thinking to yourself, "I'm starting tomorrow!"

I've been there before, too.  Many many times.  The thought sets in, more than likely, after you've stuffed your face with countless calories and sat on your ass all day.  So, you want to start eating healthy and exercising.  It lasts maybe a day or two, and then it rains.  You're sitting at the table peering out the window and say to yourself, "Well, I can't go for a walk or run today... so I'll just take a day off."  Then you think, "Well, if I'm taking a day off I may as well eat that cookie that's sitting on the counter calling my name."

And this is when you usually crash into a downward spiral .  You eat like crap and laze around all week.  Then Sunday night comes and you're thinking to yourself, "I'm starting tomorrow!" 

STOP!  PUT DOWN THE COOKIE!

I'm here to tell you to stop procrastinating and start now!  I'm going to introduce you to my friend, Leslie Sansone.  Her in-home walk program is the best program I've ever been introduced to.  It's motivating and, well, let's face it... some of us aren't physically or mentally equipped to handle the pressures of going to the gym and having to work out in the presence of unbelievably fit people.  It actually nauseates me and makes me less motivated.  So... with Leslie's program you can walk miles upon miles - rain or shine - in the very comfort and privacy of your own home.

You can purchase her DVD's mostly anywhere.  I downloaded a few of her DVD's through torrents online.  I recommend the 4 Mile Super Challenge.

In the summer during camp, my friend Donna and I would pop in the DVD and workout after the kids went to sleep.  The guy counselors would point fingers and laugh at us.  We told them not to laugh until they tried it.  So, they did... and they agreed that it was a super challenge and legit workout.  The workout DVD became something we all did every night as a team.  It felt great to be able to push ourselves to the fourth mile.  It's so rewarding and you feel so great.

Every mile is 15 minutes, so you can decide to quit whenever you want.  I usually try to push myself to go all the way.  The workout is great if you just want to keep healthy or if you're trying to reach a weight loss goal.  The benefits are: a stronger heart and lungs, conditioned muscles which give you a faster metabolism, flexibility and strength! It's so easy and easy enough for absolutely everyone to do it.  

Go to her website http://www.walkathome.com to watch some introduction videos, browse around the website, and read some success stories!  

So... put down the cookie, pop in the DVD and go walk a mile or two.  You'll feel great!

Tears For Fears

I was in swimming lessons from ages five to seventeen.  Every Saturday.  When I entered the level where diving was introduced as a new requirement, panic swarmed inside my stomach.  I watched as the instructor showed us how to kneel onto the edge of the pool deck and dive into the water.  My hands clenched by my side and my stomach flopped.  I snuck into the bathroom and waited until I thought my turn to dive had passed.  I did this every and any time we had to do dives.  I managed to avoid conquering my fear for years... until it became time to be a lifeguard.  

I secretly confessed to my Nationals instructor my secret fear of diving.  There was a segment in the course where everyone lined up on the edge of the pool deck.  I watched each and every one of them dive into the water.  They motivated me and encouraged me to do it.  Friends would stand beside me, helping to position my body the correct way for entry.  Their confidence and support helped me overcome the dread associated with diving that day.  I was filled with delight when I finally vanquished what I used to think was out of reach. 

Reliving that day and realizing that it's better to not to repress what intimidates me, still doesn't relieve the pain associated with thinking about what tyrannizes me.  

When I was in Jr. High, I remember stressing to no-end about getting tests back.  My heart would pound in my chest as the teacher would call out names one by one to go up to the desk and pick up your test.  I hated this.  Sometimes I'd tell my teachers I'd rather not know.  Don't get me wrong, I never ever did poorly on a test.  I was a 90's student but it still didn't change the fact that the possibility of doing bad made my stomach ache.  My teachers would laugh, shake their heads, and shove my test in my face.  That same sense of relief I felt when I conquered diving always consumed me when I became conscious of the fact that I did good on a test.

I know it's irrational to run from your fears.  It's irrational to pretend to be happy wallowing in oblivion because we can't repress the unknown forever.  And, when asked "would you rather be hurt by the truth or be happy believing a lie" I always respond "truth" because I'd rather be faced with reality than pretending to be impervious.  

It's hard to face your fears.  But once you do, you can shove them in your past and wave goodbye.  Saying goodbye isn't pretty but it's uglier living a lie.

My Studio Space

My studio is my second home.  I'm fairly certain I spend more time there than in my apartment.  I think being in a creative environment will keep the creative juices flowin' all the time.  I'm in the process of making it a little bit more cozy.  There was an old sofa chair left, abandoned, in the corner of my space; So, I bought a green blanket to drape over it.  I'm thinking about bringing my fold up foam bed/chair, so I can just crash for the night if I absolutely have to.

Our professors discourage us from sleeping in the studio, but sometimes if I'm working late nights I'd rather just crash for a few hours and walk home when it's light outside.  I wake up usually around 10am, shower, and get to the studio before noon.  I'll set up and start working, go to class or guard at the pool and then make my way back to the studio for a few more hours.  Because I don't walk the distance home on whatever short breaks I may have, I usually just go to the cafe and buy a sandwich.  The problem with that is... the bucks add up.  I was on the phone with my mother who agreed with me that a mini refrigerator would be ideal.  I can buy one at Walmart for under $100, set it up in my studio and store some food there to get me through the long days and nights.

I'm not sure I've ever been so motivated as I am this year.  The one thing that keeps me motivated is keeping active and busy.  If I break for too long I know that I'll want to keep breaking... which will inevitably lead to slacking.  I need to keep focused!    

I met with Erik, one of my fourth year advisors, yesterday and talked about my ideas for my projects this year.  He gave me a lot of great feedback which pushed my mind to bubble out even more possible ideas.  This is why it's always important to participate in critiques when you can... whether it be class critiques, talking to your professors, inviting people (even Visiting Artists) to your workspace to see what you're working on.  Hearing criticism and hearing what other creative minds have to say will motivate you to go even further with your artwork.  

I'm pretty excited about my ideas for this year and I'll let you in on them as soon as I further develop them.  I'll also take some pictures of my studio space and of what I'm working on so you can have a little peek.  I'll try to have that posted for my next blog.

Remember:  Don't hesitate to drop me a line if you want a tour of the fourth year studios!

Take care, folks.

Homecoming Weekend

My friend, Emily, and I.

It was quite the eventful weekend, with Homecoming and all.  I think it was my first time taking part in all the weekend's festivities since first year.  I'm definitely glad I did since it's my last year.  I purchased a Game Day shirt from the bookstore, as well as pom poms and a MTA water bottle.  My VISA took a hit but I rationalized it with the fact that it was my last year and I certainly had to represent.  So, I slapped on some face paint and away I went.

I've never seen Sackville pumpin' with so many peeps before.  There were people of all ages scattered everywhere and the traffic was nuts.  Because it was the Fall Fair in Sackville, there were many activities and fun times to be had all weekend, including farmer's markets, bands and music to be listened to, circus rides, various suppers to attend, movie showings, games and lots more fun with even prizes to be won!  It was great to see so many smiling faces.  Sackville certainly is rich with culture and there's such a great feeling when you see so many people taking part in community activities.

You may or may not know that we lost the football game against X.  But it certainly was fun to watch; You inevitably get caught up in the adrenaline rush!  The boys played great and there were so many people there, painted from head to toe, cheering on the Mounties.  It was amazing to see so much support from the community people and students.

***

I've decided I'm going to take part in Aerobics classes as well as Dance Society classes.  I'm going to have a pretty busy semester indeed.  I think it's easier for me to keep going when I have so much to do though.  My friend, Emily, and I decided it might be both hilarious and fun if we signed up for the Beginner Hip Hop class.  It'll be a fun way to keep fit!  I also decided I'm going to go swim laps at the pool whenever I can.  I used to swim every Saturday for fourteen years.  I miss it - that's for sure.  I never even knew the pool was open for use until the second year.  You can check out the schedule on the Mount A website when it's open for member swims and drop in's.  Just take your MTA student ID with you, and you'll get in for a swim!

***

Alright folks, it's time for me to get organized for the day!

Take care,

Beth