embrace

The grad banquet is Thursday and I'm pretty excited. I hadn't planned on going at first but I realized I only have a month left as a Mount Allison student and I should soak every bit of it up that I can. That means participating in the grad events that will be happening so I can surround myself with the faces that have become so familiar to me over the course of four years... faces that will diminish in time.

My mother always initiates conversation about my university experience and asks whether or not I'm going to miss it here. I respond honestly and bluntly, "nope." It's not that I, in any way, regret my decision to come here. It was the first gutsy and adventurous thing I did. My four years at MTA have shaped me into the most independent person I can be. The easy choice would've been choosing a university closer to home, but I desperately wanted to escape that easy route. I wanted to choose the route that was the least likely route I would take. My four years at MTA have strengthened my artistic mind, soul, and talent in more ways than I ever could've predicted.

My first year was extremely exciting and overwhelming. That glam wore off near the end of the second year. Not that I didn't love Mount Allison as much as I did when I first came here... it just turned into something not as exotic. It just become normal. Predictable. Plain. School. Work. Stress. Routine. Yes, routine is definitely the proper term I was looking for.

I'm desperate now to break away from that routine and seek a new adventure... an adventure I've been longing for since the mid-way point of my degree journey. So... no, Mum, I will not miss the predictable. I will not miss the plain. Or school. Or work. Or stress. Or the routine. But I will miss that independent exotic adventure that Mount Allison was. And Mount Allison was. My Mount Allison experience was everything I could've ever expected and imagined it to be. And I will miss the friends I've made along the way who helped shape me into the artist and person I am.

The last two years have been that escalation to the top of the roller coaster. I'm sitting in that cart now. I'm waiting at the top - inching slowly closer towards to edge. I'm anxiously waiting. I'm biting my fingernails and tapping my foot. I'm waiting for that push and the thrill of the adventure... for when I feel the wind press against my face as I throw my hands up in the air, embracing the thrilling drop of that roller coaster.

The climb to the top has been a struggle. But I'm ready to let go of the rail now. I'm ready to be pushed. I'm ready to throw my hands up into the air and let out a scream. I'm ready to be whipped around and knocked off my feet. I'm ready for a new adventure.